I have both a Myspace and Facebook. My Myspace is private so only the people on my friends list can see it. When I first made my page 4 years ago it was public and the typical teenage page (I was 19). I was selective with my pictures, only posting falttering ones, tried to post something witty in the “about me” sections. However, I quickly became disturbed with attention from random strangers on the internet, so I turned my profile private and only have friends who I actually know in “real life.” I can see how easy it would be to create such a alter reality, but that sort of thing is just not for me, so I couldn’t do it. I keep my Myspace now only to have another way to stay in contact with people from back home. I don’t check it every day like I used to, and rarely even leave comments or posts (My last blog was about 2 years ago). My Facebook, however, is a whole different cup of tea. I don’t distort who I am on my Facebook, but I leave a lot out. I have lots of family on my Facebook: aunts, uncles, sister, in-laws etc. I supposed it is actually distorting my reality to “edit” my life. It’s not that I don’t have a family that I feel close enough to share with, it is more the fact of who will the information get around to. My husband comes from a very religious family, and there are a lot of things in our lives that they may not approve of. He comes from a family that does not ever drink, no swearing, just certain life style decisions that I chose to respect. So I guess I unintentionally create this clean cut alter ego to protect my family. I choose very carefully the things I say or post on my Facebook just for that reason.
Looking at other friends’ pages I can see how people distort their reality. A lot of people do this, I don’t know a lot of people that are completely honest on the internet. It’s your chance to create this person that you really want to be, or maybe even the person you really think you are and not have to answer to anyone. I mean, I’ve never gone up to a friend and say “Hey, you don’t look like any of your pictures” or “You’re not an athletic body type.” I remember when I first got the internet when I was 14, I never told anyone online that I wore glasses at the time. I hated wearing glasses and thought that I would be cooler without them. Did it hurt anyone for me to tell that little lie? I don’t think so. Did it make me feel better? Yes, at the time it did, no matter how silly it was. I think that is a lot of what it is, people changing their world to reflect how they wish things were, and in most cases it doesn’t really hurt anyone. It’s really a silly thing to do, but after writing this blog I realized that I still do it too, unintentionally. I edit my life to protect those around me, even though there is nothing wrong with the way I live. By leaving things out, it’s just the same as distorting reality because people don’t get the correct picture of who I am.
January 28, 2009 at 10:51 pm
I agree that one may have to “edit” their lives on the internet from time to time. Instead of editing for in-laws, I do so for job prospects. I can be an inappropriate person, and am not afraid to say so. I however do not want to portray myself as a risk though to potential employers. It is funny that we must do face work even on the internet.
January 30, 2009 at 5:49 am
Kimberley,
I totally loved what you wrote about your how your myspace and facebook page has changed from when you first got it to now. I literally was laughing out loud when you were talking about how when you were 19 and you only posted pictures that were flattering and you wrote something witty in the about me section. That is so funny because I know girls that actually do that! They try so hard to sound sexy and cute in one sentence. I am so happy you said that, because everyone does it but they don’t admit it!